UK People Magazine – Sunday 27th July, 2003

Filthy rich rocker Zak (aka Richard E Grant of the Argos ads) shows us his mansion. As NOT told to Ktima Johnstone

How would you best describe the style of your new home?

Zak – Totally avant garde and modern, created by the Lithuanian legend Arr Ghoos with all the latest gadgets and gizmos.

So what was your home like when you first moved in?

Zak – Old brown furniture, books in Latin, scabby raggedy rugs, cracked blue Chinese vases, loud ticking old clocks, paintings of ugly dead people and statues of blokes with marble beards and big noses. Dumped the lot.

How do you spend your days now?

Zak – Game Boy, helicopter, reading the Beano, texting myself, phoning for a vindaloo takeaway, speaking to my manager, giving orders to my PA, Pam, chanting with my crystals. You know, the usual stuff of filthy rich rock stars.

How do you relax when you’re at home?

Zak – All the stuff I just told you about! Oh yeah – and also playing darts. And watching all the latest movies on my marvellous home entertainment system, of course. As well as practicing my dance moves on my PlayStation dance mat. Great fun.

What’s your favourite room in the house?

Zak – Well, if I am eating I like the kitchen best. And if I am aching, I like the sauna best. So if I’m sleeping, I like the bedroom and the bed especially. But I never, ever go in the cellar because it’s all old stuff down there and I don’t do old.

Who usually decides on the home decorations?

Zak – Apart from the legendary Arr Ghoos, I’ve got a really great lifestyle advisor and co-ordinator who shows me stuff and tells me what I will like and what I want and it really works for me. But I won’t tell you her name right now, otherwise everyone will try to copy mine.

What’s your daughter’s room like?

Zak – It’s full of all the very latest girlie toys with a really cool and funky metal bed. Will she be staying with you long term?

Zak – Until she’s grown-up, yeah……

How do you impress the ladies when they come to visit you?

Zak – I squirt myself all over with Aramis, put on my greatest hits…..and you know…..get in touch with my feminine side. Never fails. See, I know the meaning of metrosexy….take ‘em shopping and just hang out, man……hmmmm!

Do you ever lavish gifts on your PA, Pam?

Zak – Don’t be stupid, what for? She’s got everything, except a private life, but she doesn’t need one for herself ‘cos she’s got mine to sort. Know what I mean?

Does she live with you? What’s her room like?

Zak – Man, that’s way out of line and way too personal and you know that. Didn’t you read the contract that Pam gave you? Pam lives in um…….You’d better ask Pam, OK?

Is there a special lady in your life at the moment?

Zak – My banjo Malibut, of course, and Beulah, my scarlet Ferrari.

Do you get mobbed when you visit Argos?

Zak – You mean Arr Ghoos right? No way – he’s based over in Lithuania. So Pam speaks to him on the phone and it’s all delivered straight to the front door. I’m pretty big in Lithuania so I would be mobbed if I did visit. Genius, though…..absolute genius! He is really big now. Since doing my place everybody wants a piece.

You lavish gifts on your mates – what’s been your most expensive item?

Zak – Game Boys, all round and some mountain bikes.

What’s the dearest household item?

Zak – Definitely the helicopter pad.

Do you have any pet names for your place?

Zak – Yeah, the Platinum Disc Dome.

Would you ever move?

Zak – No. This pad is totally cool, man.