October 1999

The REGiment got together and emailed REG a bunch of probing questions, which he very kindly answered for this exclusive REG Temple interview.1. Marty Carpenter and John Abraham both wonder: Are you still working on the independent self-directed project about your early years in Swaziland that you’ve mentioned in the past?

REG – I’m currently in the process of pitching and seeking finance for my own screenplay. Feeling very like the scene in ‘the player’ where I harassed Tim Robbins with a deluge of talk.

2. Everyone wants to know if there are more Scarlet Pimpernel films planned for the future? And what you think about A&E’s “delayed gratification” airing schedule in the US?

REG – The BBC has commissioned three more films-for-tv which start shooting late February 2000 in England and the Czech Republic. I don’t know about the A&E scheduling in the USA but think only the first one has been shown so far?

3. Megan Lawson asks: What event has most shaped your outlook on your life? and Who do you have unfaltering respect for and why?

REG – My father’s death at the age of 52. Too young, but it made me all the more determined to succeed in a profession he had serious misgivings about, and to seize the day and not fart about. Plus trying to see the funny side of everything,prompted by the bizarre happenings at his funeral which I detailed in ‘With nails’.

Respect – Nelson Mandella – unequivocally. I was at school in Swaziland with his daughters whilst he was in prison. To have survived 27 years locked away and to emerge without obvious bitterness and recrimination for his unjust incarceration,and to lead his country to it’s first truly democratic election victory is something I will never forget. Awesome

4. Robert and Kat both want to know: IS THERE A “SEQUEL” TO ‘WITH NAILS’ IN PROGRESS?

REG – I write a diary every day so ‘yes’ the sequel is ongoing. Whether it will ever be published as volume two is an unknown.

5. Bec asks: If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

REG – Shakespeare.

6. Jen A asks: If you could sum up your personality in an ice cream flavor, what would it be and why?

and

If you had to go live on a desert island, and could take with you only 3 things, what would they be? No cheating, you can’t take a big “HELP ME” sign.

REG – Lychee sorbet – I loathe dairy stuff, grew up in Swaziland where the lychees grow and love the perfume of this fruit. It always reminds me of ‘home’ where I grew up.

Island essentials? – lychees, phone, my wife.

7. Karen asks: What would you like your Epitaph to read ?

and

If you could change one aspect of your personality (perish the thought) what would it be and why ??

REG – epitaph :’Swazi was here’

learn patience. Have been slightly overwound-up since birth and could do with a little slacking.

8. Maria asks: After being the Scarlet Pimpernel, are there any other Literary heroes, or historical characters that you’d like to play?

REG – Dracula, Beardsley, Modigliani, Fitzgerald, Martin Amis, astronaut, Cpt. Bligh, Tristan Tzara. Any suggestions?

9. Sammy asks: With the Year 2K almost upon us, what 3 things would you put in a time capsule to commemorate your life/preserve for future persons and why?

REG – time capsule – video of Withnail and I and the film diaries- give an account of my life and a body-freeze capsule in case they ever suss how to re-animate the dead! So I could have another crack at it all.

10. Paula Forst wonders: Boxers or Briefs?

and

I’ve read various quotes saying that you don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. Given this, what would you consider to be your biggest vice?

REG – boxers or briefs depends on whether it’s below zero outside.

vice? – anything hedonistic.

11. Little Jen asks: If you suddenly discovered you had superhuman powers and became a superhero, what would you be called and what would your super power be?

REG – Super-Swaz……making sure that not a single human being ever goes hungry anywhere on the planet.

12. Nikki is a big help with the Temple so I’ve allowed her a few questions:

– You have mentioned your shark attack in “With Nails”, were you or any of your friends injured and do you know what type of shark it was? Details please!

REG – Zambezi shark trapped in a vast lagoon in San Martino on the Mozambique coast circa 1965. Broken-down boat attacked but humans untouched, just terrified out of their wits, till eventually saved by another motorlaunch. Shark subsequently caught before end of holiday.

– Do you have any questions for the REGiment? And would you join us for a chat the REG Temple chat room one day?

REG – would love to join an online chat session. Tell me when and how?

– What have you got against socks?

REG – socks – stupid smelly things that have a habit of losing their partners permanently.

– What’s the nicest thing someone has done for you/nicest thing you have done someone?

REG – nicest thing? – that someone fell in love with me. For someone else? – paid their debts anonymously.

– What would/wouldn’t you like to see on the REG Temple?

REG – Like in the Temple? – enthusiasm. Dislike? – derision.

– What do you drive, don’t say a car!

REG – drive any and everywhere. Fast.

13. Helen would like to know what you do to relax and unwind?

REG – relax – music. Movies. Enacting Barbie weddings with my ten year old daughter..the usual. Email. Write.

14. John Abraham asks: Knowing that Steve Martin is a good friend, what do you think of his latest movie Bowfinger, and given that the movie also features Robert Downey Jr, whom you also know, how do you feel about his current situation, being detained in a custodial rehab facility (especially as drugs are so prevalent within your industry)?

REG – bullseye hit for ‘Bowfinger’, has yet to open in the UK. Robert Downey – hugely hope he can hack through his demons and triumph again.

15. Tellu Sonne asks: Is the Little Vampire movie animated or not?

REG – Little Vampire’ is not animated. Plenty of special effects and flying stuff, but apart from the flying vampire cows we are all ‘humans’.

16. Lex asks: is your first language Afrikaans or English? as Esterhuysen is Afrikaner.

REG – first language-only language – English, with school French and Siswati second and third.

17. And last but not least, Ailis asks an important REG fan etiquette question:

If, by some odd circumstance you were to be in Northern Indiana, and I were to see you on the street or in some other public place, what exactly are the rules of etiquette? Should I approach you, or just go on as though I hadn’t recognized you? If I did approach you, what would be the right sort of thing to say?

(We’d all like to know this actually)

REG – ‘Hi, my name is Ailis. You don’t know me, but I’m from Northern Indiana and I asked you a question via the REG Temple site, – I’m right out of lychees just this minute, but…….you fill in as you see fit. There’s only one question that causes any bother and that is ‘Can you please give me $25,000 for my……..whatever.

Dom says: THANKS REG!! You’re the best!